celebrity hairstyles, fashion, gossip

Death Watch

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One celeb I never really get sick of talking about is La Lindsay Loco Lohan. Here she is doing something relatively normal: Heading into the Unargo office in Paris earlier today (October 8). She looks kinda cute and only halfway homeless/dead. She sure is pale for someone who owns a spray tan line, but whatever; she’s in Paris. Also, good to see she’s all stocked up with a fresh bottle of vodka to get the day started off right!

It’s been reported that Lindsay ignores the tabloids and blogs, but you know she must have read about how the entire fashion universe hated her hideous Unargo collection. She could not have avoided that information, right? Lindsay says, “I just don’t read it any more. I don’t go on the net.  They want a car crash, which doesn’t make me want to give it to them, but nor am I going to stop myself from doing things that other girls my age would do.  Of course I regret some of them. But the media now is so unhealthy. It’s like they’re waiting to devour you.”

Hmm. Actually, she’s given us actual car crashes in the past, but whatevz.

I was telling my BF last night about tabloid reporter Ted Casablanca and how when he writes really salacious gossip about Lindsay Lohan without naming her, he uses a code name (Morgan Mayhem), but that at this point, pretty much everyone knows what Lindsay’s code name is, so it’s pretty much like Ted just calls her out by name.

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The most recent blind item about Morgan Mayhem on The Awful Truth after the jump.

Dear Morgan,

It’s your dear pals here at Team Awful, and we think you’d better listen up to what we have to type.

What the s–t is wrong with you? Are you so high you think news of your latest antics doesn’t travel back to gossip bloggers in Los Angeles? Think again. We’ve heard all about the ridiculous crap you’re still pulling while out clubbing, and it’s getting pathetic.

We’re not even bothering to make you a Blind Vice for the week; you aren’t good enough for that anymore. Really, we are thisclose to just straight outing you right here in the blog thanks to your highly visible, most recent drug stunt…

I mean, come, on: doing meth (again) in front of everyone at a recent party, having a freak-out moment and totally losing it while everyone watched and, yes, judged you.

And the pathetically funny thing is: Your pals who you think are right there with ya are the ones worried for your life. Us, too. Girlfriend, you used to have the potential to be a big player in the H’wood game, but right now you should worry less about your failing career and more about how you plan to stay friggin’ breathing. At this rate, it isn’t going to be for that much longer.

It’s not even fun anymore to chronicle your sad pleas for attention. Would outing you once and for all be what it takes for your remarkably still-gorgeous ass to actually get help? We’re considering it. Surely a rehab stint would follow, but maybe this time it would stick since the world would know you’re into the painfully hard stuff, not just coke and booze anymore.

Figure it out, or we will for you.

XO,
Team Awful

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Let this be a lesson to ya, kids. JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS. ;)


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